One of the most challenging experiences that any woman of childbearing age may go through is a miscarriage. As a friend or colleague of someone who has recently miscarried, you may be compelled to send over a sympathy gift as a gesture of your love and remembrance.
Given that the death of an unborn child is such a sensitive issue, however, which types of gifts are appropriate? Even more importantly, which types of gifts should you steer clear of, to avoid adding salt to injury, so to speak?
In this blog, we discuss some of the sympathy gifts deemed inappropriate for someone who has endured an infant loss.
Infant Loss or Miscarriage Sympathy Gifts to Avoid
Before picking out these sympathy gifts to send to a bereaved mother, you may want to think twice.
Listed below are these gifts, along with a brief explanation on why you should reconsider sending them to someone at a time of death and loss.
- Books on how to have a healthy pregnancy
Although books such as these may be considered by some to be helpful, a bereaved mother may find the gesture intrusive or patronizing. It can send home the idea that the miscarriage happened due to an unhealthy pregnancy, and that the mother must be ‘healthier’ next time.
- Baby or infant dolls/ teddy bears
While there are bereaved mothers who are able to find comfort from stuffed toys and dolls after losing their unborn child, this gift choice can still be tricky. The grieving mother may become unnecessarily reminded of the child she has lost upon seeing the baby doll. Also, no stuffed doll is ever going to replace a lost child. If you haven’t spoken to your friend about this, you may want to tread carefully when it comes to giving dolls and teddy bears as gifts.
- Plants (or at least those that are difficult to care for)
Although it’s a nice idea to gift someone with a plant or a tree to be cultivated as part of a garden memorial, not everyone is into gardening or private memorials. Some plant species, moreover, are difficult to care for. It can be doubly devastating for someone who has already lost a child to witness the slow death of a plant or tree. If you must gift a plant, make sure at least that it doesn’t require strict maintenance or that it is of a hardy variety.
- Gifts for future pregnancies
It could be possible for your friend or colleague to attempt to get pregnant again after suffering from miscarriage. However, gifting them with items meant for future pregnancies may end up placing unnecessary pressure on them.
It’s also highly possible for your friend to still be mourning the loss of her child. The sight of the pregnancy items may only end up as a painful reminder of her recent experience of frustration and loss.
For Meaningful Sympathy Gifts to Someone Who Has Had a Miscarriage, Check Out the Comfort Company
Although you’re better off steering clear from certain types of ‘gifts’ for a bereaved mother, there are many other items which you can send as sympathy gifts other than flowers.
A good way to start is to look into the interests of your gift recipient — are they into gardening, crafts, or travel? You can then pick the gifts that serve their interests best. If you are privy to their plans of creating a garden memorial, you can perhaps pick up a tree gift or a memorial stone to complete their private, outdoor memorial.
Although your sincere gesture of gift-giving will always be appreciated by a bereaved friend, it also pays to be more thoughtful about the kind of gift you’re sending over.
To view a selection of meaningful and appropriate sympathy gifts for miscarriage or infant loss, check out our selections at the Comfort Company today.